Adjustment Time
“Wait, wait, who’s screaming?”
Merilyn Goodacre looked up, resting her tongue from its minutes’-long journey back and forth across Bella Stromblad’s pussy. The redhead whined in protest. Come to think of it, someone was screaming in the darkness...well, several of the two-dozen women were screaming, but this one sounded scared instead of orgasmic.
Another blast of shriek confirmed that whoever was howling was pretty near Merilyn.
“I think it’s Beth Harper,”came an answer even closer.
“Oh, that makes sense!” Merilyn found herself exclaiming to no one in particular. Beth was new on the block. Merilyn was probably her closest friend, and had never quite found the time to have the Talk with her.
“Can someone help her?” That sounded like LaShayne Hunt. “I’ve been trying to calm her down, but it’s not helping.”
“Uh, here, where are you?” Merilyn spoke up. “Sorry, Bella, I’m gonna go help with this.”
“Ugh, okay, but you owe me one.” It did not take long before Bella adjusted her orientation in the pile and found another set of partners to entangle with.
There was no light, just enough atmosphere, and very little space. Twenty-three naked women were shoved together in the compact, wet, warm chamber and twenty-two of them were making the most with a wild sapphic orgy. The remaining one was having a panic attack.
It took Merilyn a bit to squirm on her belly under and over the bodies of the other women who lived on Postelthwaite Drive toward the sound of Beth losing her mind. When she heard LaShayne grunt under her, she figured she was getting close.
Even then she was surprised to find herself with one hand on Beth’s arm, the other on Beth’s small breast (for a moment, before pulling away), as she fell into an embrace of the dusky young brunette.
“Beth! Beth! It’s me, Merilyn! Merilyn Goodacre!” she cried out over Beth’s screaming. “Honey, let’s talk about this!”
The screams quickly faded as Beth found and grabbed Merilyn’s shoulders. Their faces were pressed cheek to cheek.
“Merilyn! Oh my God, what’s going on!?” Beth cried out. “I – I – it was – what was that!?”
“The snallygaster?” Merilyn asked. Beth whimpered, puzzled. “You mean the thing that looked like a giant dragon with some feathers and crazy tentacles coming out of its mouth?”
“HOW ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS? WE JUST GOT EATEN BY A BIRD-LIZARD-DRAGON-SQUID!!” Beth shouted.
Merilyn sighed in a way that she tried to make sound reassuring. She started to speak, but then Beth started shouting again.
“OH MY GOD, WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE! WE’VE BEEN EATEN ALIVE AND WE’RE GOING TO GET DIGESTED AND WE’RE GOING TO DIE!”
Merilyn winced at the volume, but then gently (but firmly and resolutely) slapped a hand over Beth’s mouth, quieting the brunette temporarily.
“Okay, listen, first, you’re going to be fine. We all will be, because, second, this happens, like, once every four-to-six months to the women living on Postelthwaite Drive. Big ghost monster comes down, eats us up, flies off, and then after a while, we all wake up again back at our homes.”
Beth nodded and after a few moments of calm, Merilyn removed her hand. Beth took a deep breath.
“What the fuck!?” Beth exclaimed.
“Okay, shh, shhh, you’re okay. It’s normal to freak out, but trust us, it’s going to be fine. You’ll wake up about three minutes later than you were eaten.”
“HOW!?”
Merilyn was now stroking Beth’s hair and embracing her. “Okay, so, as best as we can tell, once upon a time, there was a German immigrant to Frederick County, like, in colonial times. Hilde or something. She was accused of being a witch and was executed, but not before cursing the community with special Teutonic witch magic or something. Now, hundreds of years later, this spectral snallygaster appears outside of time and eats all the women it can find on Postelthwaite Drive.”
“That’s...really fucking weird...” Beth was now much more confused than she was frightned, which Merilyn was thankful for.
“Right?” Merilyn laughed. Her embrace loosened and she rubbed Beth’s arms comfortingly. “If you read between the lines, we think the curse was also, like, super horny, since this really feels like a fetish. Bunch of naked ladies squished together in tight confines, conveniently handled outside of time and space so it doesn’t actually affect our lives?”
“Okay, yeah, I guess I can see how that would be a sex thing,” Beth nodded. “That would also explain why everyone’s fucking.”
Merilyn laughed. “Yeah, I mean, how else are we gonna spend the time?”
“But isn’t everyone here married, to guys?”
“Mostly. Did you see that Parker and Molly are here?” Merilyn asked, referring to the neighborhood’s token lesbian couple. The two women were on opposite ends of the orgy, Parker with Inez Filer and Molly with Kennedy Green. “Like I said, outside space and time, snallygaster doesn’t count.”
“What do you mean by outside of time?” Beth interrupted. “You keep saying that!”
“Uh, yeah, so, after we pass out and get digested or whatever, we always wake up back where we were, no time passes, so Rachel Steinberg – you didn’t know Rachel, sweet little Jewish girl who used to live at the Greens’ house, taught at the university, moved last year before you moved here – that was her line.” Merilyn said it with more confidence and understanding than what she felt.
“Huh.” Beth was calm now, but contemplative.
“Seriously, I know it’s super weird and all, but we’re going to be okay. Alright?”
Beth was quiet for a few more moments, then came a sigh. “Seems like a really long way to go for a lesbian orgy.”
“Ha! Yeah, but in suburbia, you kind of have to. No way we could do this at a book club or tupperware party. Too many nosy neighbors.”
“And it’s just the ladies on Postelthwaite Drive?” Beth asked.
“Yep.”
“And how often?”
“Best Rachel could figure is that it’s on a lunar calendar cross-referenced with the ascendance of Aquarius,” Beth stretched her memory, “so it’s inconsistent, since it’s got multiple pieces. Sometimes it’s every month, sometimes we’ll go a few months without it happening.”
“So fucking weird.”
“Yes, but it’s a great way to get to know each other, and – “ Merilyn was interrupted when the fleshy chamber shook and quivered around them.
“What was that?” Beth asked, more nerves in her voice again.
Merilyn sighed. “Looks like we’re about out of time, gonna get digested soon.”
“Oh my god...”
Merilyn hugged Beth to her. The sounds of the orgy were not diminished; if anything, they picked up pace, intensity, and necessity. They suddenly had a deadline.
“Look, I’m sure it sounds scary and intimidating, but it’s really not. Think of – think of it like a hot tub you pass out in.”
“What?”
As Beth tried to wrap her head around it, glands in the snallygaster’s belly began to secrete a thick, warm fluid. Its consistency wasn’t far away from mayonnaise, but was velvety smooth, odorless, and so warm that it was easy to relax into.
“What the fuck is this?” Beth asked.
“Digestive fluid,” Merilyn answered. “And in a second, we – “
Another gland released a second fluid, an equally invisible catalyst, and in less than a second, with only the barest of tinglings, the bodies of all twenty-three women were dissolved into a nutritious slurry that would tide over the snallygaster until the next time. The creature winged into the starless space between the quarks making up Postelthwaite Drive, and the cycle restarted.
Merilyn knocked on the front door, 2123 Postelthwaite Drive, and took a deep breath. After a minute, the door slowly opened, Beth cautiously looking out at her.
“Hey, Beth. Do you need to talk?” Merilyn asked.
“Hey, uh, yeah...” Beth nodded. She opened the door and let Merilyn in. She offered Merilyn a drink and raided her husband’s bourbon to get through the discussion. The women reviewed what had happened, why it happened, and Rachel Steinberg’s various theories. It was mostly the same things that Merilyn had discussed before, but now, outside the belly of the beast, fully dressed, and with the danger passed, Beth seemed to retain it better.
As Merilyn went to leave an hour later, Beth paused in the foyer. “So...do we have an estimate when it could happen again? I mean, did Rachel make a calendar?”
Merilyn nodded. “Probably around July 3rd, based on her write up.”
“Okay, okay, I guess I’ll be better prepared for the next time a dragon squid monster knocks down my house, strips me, and eats me. I still can’t believe that there is absolutely no damage – I saw that thing rip apart my kitchen...”
“Outside of time and space. Unreality field, whatever you want to call it.” Merilyn shrugged, kindly dismissing Beth’s concern. “But still, if you think it’s going to happen, it can be a better to be outside. Less dramatic that way.”
“That makes sense, thanks,” Beth nodded in appreciation, not unlike the way she would have thanked someone for telling her which automechanic on Philadelphia Avenue was most honest.
“Let me know if you need anything, or if you want to talk about it some more,” Merilyn finally said.
“Thanks. I guess… I guess I’ll see you next time.”